Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Hanging In There

Hi There
Sorry still no card to share today, just an update. It’s been an amazingly LOOONG, frustrating, stressful and emotionally draining month since I‘ve been here.

Although Jim still has a ways to go he is doing so very much better.
Jim was sent home with no instructions. Taking care of bed baths etc. was no problem but I had no idea how or what to feed him. In under a week he lost 25 pounds and became confused. Needless to say that was terrifying. I got him to drink some Ensure Clear which thankfully cleared up his confusion but I still couldn‘t get him to eat. All he wanted to do was lay in bed and be left alone. Of course that wasn’t an option.

I ran into MANY obstacles but finally got home health care. We now have nurses and a physical therapist each coming in twice a week.

I learned I needed to feed him a little bit (two tablespoons) every two hours. I begged, pleaded, and yes I did some yelling to get him to eat those two tablespoons of food every two hours . Eventually he was more willing to eat, his weight held and he got a bit stronger. Why is it that men fight tooth and nail against anything that's good for them.   

Although I was told how to feed him the list of what he could have was very short and very bland, he soon got sick of eating the same things day in and day out and began fighting me again. Many more obstacles but after three weeks I did get a dietitian’s help.

The dietitian is a lovely, caring woman who answered all of my questions. I now understand the WHYS behind what he can and can’t have which is priceless information. As soon as he was allowed to have a large variety of flavorful foods he became much more enthusiastic about eating and had several requests. You can bet he gets whatever he asks for. He went from eating two tablespoons to eating a cupful in under a week.  Now he is actually eating small meals. It is so wonderful to sit with him and share the same foods again. It is encouraging to see his daily improvements.

Unfortunately there are several brush and forest fires in our state at the moment. We have wonderful firefighters but sadly they are spread so thin. The air is dreadful and everyone like Jim with breathing problems is suffering.

The physical demand of being a caregiver is tiring but for me the stress and emotional demands have been most draining. I’ve spent so much time trying to motivate Jim I now need to find a way to motivate myself to do more then only what I can’t avoid. I’ve had no energy or desire to do anything. I’ve decided I’ll need to force myself into doing the things I once enjoyed to brake this slump. I hope to be back soon with something creative to share.
Blessings Bernie


  1. Glad to hear that Jim is holding his own but you need to look after yourself too. Thinking of you a great deal and hope you feel up to doing a bit of crafting.it will help to take your mind off your worries if only for a short while. Hugs Mrs A.

  2. I too am glad to hear that Jim is doing a bit better and is eating small meals now. I'm sorry though that you are so worn out by it all - though it is inevitable. Hope you manage to make a little bit of time for yourself in the next few days. Take care, I'm thinking of you both and praying for you, Victoria x

  3. Oh Bless you it really has taken the stain on yourself but we do these things because of our love, hopefully Jim will improve then you can try and have some quality time to yourself do take care of yourself and thank you for the update, xx

  4. Oh Bernie, I was only thinking how were things earlier on today - I thought you'd been very quiet. As others say, you also must look after yourself honey. Jim's full recovery will likely be slow but hopefully steady. Be sure to rest when you can!! Love and hugs, Di xx

  5. Good to hear from you, Bernie! The fires up there are on our news quite a lot and I've wondered how close you are, so I'm relieved to hear from you. I'm sorry, tho, that they are causing another layer of stress in terms of the bad air.

    It sounds like you are utterly and completely drained of all your resources. I pray you can find some way to get some quiet time to replenish your body and your spirit. It sounds like you have gotten a lot of help for Jim and perhaps one of those nice people can refer you to another agency that will provide someone to come and sit with Jim, while you go for a drive or a walk or take a nap or read a book ...

    LOL! Can you tell I'm a "fixer" person?! I just want to help in some way. You hang in there, B! You have lots of people caring and praying for both of you.

    Hearts, D

  6. I echo everyone else's sincere sentiments Bernie.

    You sound like a wonderful "nurse" and it is clear from this post (and many others)how much you love and care for Jim. Please, please try and find a little bit of time for yourself though, as you sound very drained.

    Sending love and hugs your way.

    Sarn xxx

  7. Oh my goodness, Bernie..I have wondered so many times about you and what was going on in your life. I've checked often to see if you were here. I'm so happy your husband is getting better little by little. I know you must be exhausted. I am praying for you and hoping the fires are put out very soon..for many reasons..one, being for folks like your Jim.
    Take care and know we all care. Big Hugs.

  8. I too had been wondering about you Bernie-praying for strength for you as you care for your precious Jim

  9. Bernie, this was a very stressful time for you, emotionally & physically. Trying to motivate your sick DH is a FULL TIME job, even at the best of times occasionally. I can sympathesize with Jim's breathing in the smokey atmosphere, and I just have respiratory problems, no emphysema. Poor fella to have to deal with this too, as he's mending. But I'm thankful he is on the mend, that you will get back to the closet.These lastest cards I've looked at on your posts, don't indicate you lost a single bit of MoJo! All are marvelously done. And you & Miss Candee get the best buys on craft supplies. I wanna shop wit ya'll!!!! Many hugs & prayers.

  10. Oh Bernis, you have been on my mind so much! I am sorry for not leaving a note sooner to this, but my DH is away on assignment for a few months, and I am doing a terrible job of juggling, but know I am thinking of you!!!

    So happy for the progress although frustrating you are such a blessing and treasure to Jim!!!!

    Big Hugs!


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